The Real Reason Why Home Improvement Guys Have Kids

By: Allen Lyle

It’s no secret that my daughter, Savannah, is the love of my life. But there are days… Last weekend I was in the middle of those pesky Saturday morning chores and wasn’t paying attention to what was going on in the other room. As the morning wore on, Savannah wound up on the computer playing a Barbie game.

As I walked into the family room, I noticed the old Civil War sword that I own was sitting on the floor. Immediately the red flags started waving and I searched for the cat to make sure it was still in possession of all nine lives. When the feline was found in fair health, I started inspecting the couch. Apparently, I jumped to conclusions, because nothing was out of place or prepared for the skewer.

It happened to be a very nice day with a warm spring-like breeze in the air. The back slider, the front and back doors were all open to enjoy the fresh air. Just as I reached to pick up the sword and put it away, I noticed the screen door of the slider. Sure enough, not once, but twice it received mortal battle wounds.

Of course, the interesting part is discovering exactly what 10-year-olds consider to be bad. I think Savannah concluded that if the cat wasn’t shish kabob and the furniture wasn’t hemorrhaging, then all was right with the world. And, to be frank, it’s hard to get too upset when your child is stretching her imagination. It seems she was playing Peter Pan. Who knew my screen door could make such a formidable Captain Hook?

So, to answer the question…home improvement guys have kids so they never run out of projects. Maybe I should have become an accountant. Needless to say, Barbie is on a two-week vacation from the Lyle household.

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